I'd Rather Kill Myself Than Live in the Multiverse (Article)

Reflection on the Multiverse.

So I’ve been watching superhero videos on YouTube. Mostly DC stuff like Superman and Batman. It was fun - mindless fun. And that’s my take on superhero stuff - don’t dwell too much on it. Unfortunately, I did dwell on it. In fact, I’ve dwelt on it for some time.

As you might expect from this article’s title, I am speaking about the multiverse.

We all love the multiverse don’t we? This is where our favorite hero gets to be reimagined into something completely different. Maybe he’s evil, maybe he got together with a different love interest, maybe he’s black, or maybe… he’s a woman.

As a writer, I get the storytelling potential of this plot device. What if… the main character but evil is one of the most used storytelling tropes out there. And if you as a writer ran out of ideas on what to do with your character, having him or her do something evil can spice things up. Afterwards, you can just explain it away as some sort of ‘what-if’ or a parallel dimension.

It’s the perfect way to have your cake and eat it too - while also killing two birds with one stone.

See that? Superman kills Lex Luthor. Except… it’s not Superman. Not really. It’s an alternate version of Superman where he and the Justice League Lords took over the world and established a dictatorship.

And superheroes are not the only genre that made use of this trope. Star Trek arguably popularized the “mirror dimension” - a place that is basically a reflection of the world but completely different… inverted.

As I said before, you’re not supposed to dwell too deeply into the implications of a parallel dimension. The point is that our hero had to deal with the enemy within that is somehow also the enemy without. Personally, I doubt the writers of Star Trek or Justice League thought much the implications of the multiverse.

This brings me to the title of my article: “I’d Rather Kill Myself Than Live in the Multiverse”. Some may think I’m being hyperbolic with this title. No. Perish thought!

I mean it.

It all began with a little animated movie called Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths. The movie itself was fairly pedestrian in terms of plot. Superman and co. traveled to a different universe where they fought evil versions of themselves. If you’re familiar with superhero stuff, then you’re familiar with this setup.

What I want to zero-in on is the crescendo in which Batman came face-to-face with the evil version of himself, Owlman. At this point, Owlman had already revealed his plan: to destroy the entire multiverse (read: all of existence) by blowing up ‘Earth Prime’ - basically the very first Earth which served as the foundation upon which all the Earths stood. Why? Because by destroying “Earth-Prime” he would also destroy all of the other Earths, essentially killing everyone. But I’ll let the man speak for himself:

I recommend you watch this video. Easily one of the best pieces of writing in any modern media that I can think of. Also, the voice actors did a great job portraying Owlman in all of his nihilistic glory (so to speak).

Now let’s delve into the exchange between Owlman and Batman:

Owlman: Before there was thought, there was this place. One Earth with a single history. But with the coming of man came the illusion of free will. With that illusion, came chaos. With every choice we make, we literally create a world. History branches in two, creating one Earth where we made the choice and a second where we didn’t. That’s the secret of the universe you know. Billions of people making billions of choices creating infinite Earths. Some so similar to each other you can spend a lifetime searching for any distinction. Others so radically different they defy comprehension.

Here, we see Owlman explaining the origins of the multiverse, or the Infinite Earths as he called it. He made it very clear that he didn’t believe in free will. Understandably so. If every choice we make, even the smallest of choices, creates an alternate world in which we made a different decision, then what’s the point of your decision?

Just think about any decision you’ve ever made in your life. It could be anything - your job, your spouse, where you live, even your choice of entertainment. If the multiverse is true, then those decisions literally don’t matter. You think marrying your wife was the most important decision in your life? Guess what? There are many worlds in which you chose to marry another woman, or you chose not to marry at all.

Now let us continue…

Batman: And all of the branches originate here.

O: Every version of reality balances precariously on this singular Earth. It seems so different from the Earth we know, I can’t imagine what series of decisions led to this world hurtling out of its orbit. But I know this, the source of the cataclysm was the same as it always is: man.

B: You can’t be sure of that. Anything…

O: You know better. Man is a cancer, and I’ve chosen to cut out the disease.

Here, Batman and Owlman had a quick exchange about the nature of the multiverse and what the latter intended to do. Yet calling this an exchange is generous to the caped crusader. In reality, Owlman was ranting while Batman acted as his sounding board. And this led to the most powerful line in the movie...

B: You’re talking about killing…

O: …everyone who ever lived. Who ever will live. I choose to make the only possible real choice.

And there it was. Owlman wanted to destroy all of existence, because in this multiverse existence, it was the only way he could make a difference. I’m sure at some point, he probably contemplated suicide. But what would be the point? There are other alternate universes in which he chose not to kill himself.

B: You’re insane.

O: Does it really matter? There are alternate versions of me that you could find quite charming.

Batman, having no real rhetorical counter to his interlocutor, simply called him insane. Yet Owlman once again responded with the absolute truth in this multiversal existence: it doesn’t matter that he’s insane.

Afterwards, the two fought one another for the fate of Infinite Earths. I love this fight, not just because it was well-choreographed but because we know why the two were fighting. It was clash of two philosophies, but the two philosophies were not as different as you might think.

Throughout the fight, the movie made clear that Batman and Owlman were not so different from one another. When the fight ended with Batman victorious, he acknowledged that fact with his parting words: “We both looked into the abyss. But when it looked back, you blinked.”

In other words, Batman didn’t really disagree with Owlman. Deep down, he knew it doesn’t matter. Yet like a good stoic, Batman kept going anyways. Someone once said that stoicism is the ideology of “grin and bear it”. And that was what Batman did, he grinned and bore the meaninglessness of the multiverse.

Well maybe not the grinning part, but you know what I mean.

The final scene was the cherry on top of the nihilistic sundae. Owlman, now stranded on another Earth just as the bomb was about to explode, could have saved himself by pressing the “abort” button. Yet he chose not to do so.

After all, it doesn’t matter. In the immortal words of the late Chester Bennington: “I tried so hard and got so far. In the end, it doesn’t even matter”.

This was the first time I wrote about that scene in detail, but I’ve must’ve watched it about fifty times already (a conservative estimate). I kept coming back to it because it’s such an honest exploration to the topic - something that you might not expect given how often the superhero genre (also sci-fi too, for that matter) made use of “alternate universes”.

I’m sure the writers wanted the audience to side with Batman. And sure, I would side with Batman too because genocide, especially absolute genocide, is evil. But I’ll be honest, Batman didn’t really make a good case for himself. As I said before, his answer to “the abyss” was nothing more than stoicism, to grin and bear it. I can respect that. Owlman, meanwhile, was willing to be honest with his situation. So he acted accordingly. I can also respect that.

There’s another story that’s similar to this, and it’s actually one you ca find on Substack. The Monster with a Thousand Faces by

Isaac Young

is a short story that also tackles the existential implication of the multiverse. The story follows a Dr. David Obrien, a scientist who invented the multiverse travel. Unfortunately, a mishap during an experiment left him in another universe. More importantly, he was unable to find his way home. Thus, he traveled through various universes meeting other versions of himself, and occasionally those of his wife. As you might expect, David didn’t have a fun time.

I’ll leave it at that. I recommend you read the story for yourself:

The Monster with a Thousand Faces

But there’s a reason I keep thinking about this. The multiverse isn’t just some storytelling device. It’s also a theory that actual scientists believe in.

Don’t believe the headline. In reality there’s no real evidence for the existence of other “universes”.

Now scientists can be a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. I’m sure these people have probably thought through the implications of the multiverse.

So this brings me back to the title of my question: “I’d Rather Kill Myself Than Live in the Multiverse”.

I’m sure some people might find that title a bit over-the-top. And perhaps also strange. As a Catholic, it would be weird for me to talk about killing myself. But in my defense, if the multiverse is correct, it would raise strange questions on the truths of the Christian religion.

Jeremiah 1:4-5 (NCB)

Some may think it’s a question of free will. But that’s not really true. In the multiverse, it’s not that you don’t have free will. You certainly do. No, the issue is that your free will doesn’t matter.

Again, I’ll let Owlman speak:

Similarly, by delving into “multiverses”, companies like DC or Marvel destroyed the importance of their existing stories. That Superman chose to do good ultimately lost its importance. For every good Superman out there who fought for truth, justice, and the American way, there were probably five more who abused their powers and became a tyrannical dictator. Because let’s be honest, how easy would it be for Superman to abuse his power? The fact that he didn’t is supposed to be a testament to his restraint and strength of character, showing him to be a hero for people to look up to.

The key word here is “supposed to”.

So what I am saying here? Dumb question. You know exactly what I’m saying. It’s in the damn title:

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